THE WAIT.......

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Dear Jesus,


I hope this letter will get to you, in one way or another. Am not sure how, but I guess somehow through your miraculous power you'll be able to find it. My greatest worry is if you'll find it in time, because from my side I feel like time is running out. The year is almost coming to an end yet I have little or no achievements to show for all that I have done. I made promises at the beginning of the year and it is all futile now. Things haven't worked out as I thought they would, people have turned their backs on me, the promises that were made; have been broken without a word, the things that I always looked forward to now don't make too much sense. I think of everything that am going through now and it seems like tears currently have a permanent space on my cheeks. I know your promises of love, that you are always here with us that you'll never leave us, blah blah blah (by the way I don't mean this in a bad way) but I kind of feel you are so far away. Were you really there when i closed myself in the toilet to cry? When I felt that my whole world was crushing down on me, were you still there? When I lost all my strength to move on in life, were you still there? When the people around me turned their backs on me, were you really there? I keep asking myself these questions and am not sure if I already got the answer yet, you say in Exodus 14:13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance of the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 

If  I'm allowed to speak the truth here, Lord, am terrified, am scared. I need you to come down, Kuja na usitumane (Don't send anyone) I want to experience an open heaven. I haven't gone through as much as Job your servant did. I have questions but am terrified you might say what you told Job Job 40:7 “Brace yourself like a man;    I will question you, and you shall answer me. Coming back to our discussion, you say that Philippians 4:6-8 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.so I will be hopeful, I will choose to wait on you, because you make things beautiful at your own time  Ecclesiastes 3:11Ecclesiastes 3:14 And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. 15 What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.

. As I finish this letter, I just want to say that, I don't want to sound ungrateful for all you've done for me, actually am astonished and amazed at what you've been able to do with my life, but I just want you to take this cup away from me. I want to be free, I want to rejoice in you without thinking of all the troubles that surround me. I want to walk around freely without watching over my shoulder as to what people might be saying about me. I want to experience, the transforming power of the Holy Spirit that turns things around. Just like Jabez cried out and you answered, may you come through for me. As I'm in the month of "NO-Vember", May there be NO more Pain, NO more sorrows, NO more lack, NO more debts, NO more tears for whichever circumstance that am in right now. I hope to get a response from you soon

Yours Faithfully Daughter  x

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