AM DONE!!!!!

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 Dear Jesus, 


It's been a while since our last formal communication, I've tried to get in touch with you but seems like my efforts for the past few months have been futile. I don't have much to say this time round, I promise to make it short and precise. I just want to say that AM DONE. Yeah, this ain't a spelling mistake or an auto correct AM DONE. 


Wait, what? Am overreacting? How now? Every single day has been from one struggle to another. Am tired of always wanting to step up to save the situation. Am tired of always having to be the mature one of this relationship and try to make it work.AM DONE.

You always say if I see one footprint on the sand, it's because you are carrying me through, I don't insinuate that you are lying but it doesn't feel true. It feels like I was left like a wandering sheep in the desert with no one to guide me through.

If I may ask Lord, Who am I? Am I pain? Is that my name? Because that's what it feels like. Someone asked me what I wanted to achieve this year, I gave it much thought and realized that I just want to survive through the year. I want to look back next year and be proud of myself for being strong despite the storms.

Talking of being strong, God am tired and I don't think I can be strong anymore. Am fragile and weak. Everything is taking a toll on me. I've trusted you long enough to change the situation but everyday it seems to go from bad to worse.

Am sure am not the only one but several people share the same sentiments with me. So we started with COVID, we thought it will just be like a passing wind and we'll soon get back to normalcy but look at where we are now. The numbers are sky rocketing every single day. People are losing their loved ones everyday and we don't seem to have any workable and possible solution about it. Then came the job losses that quickly impacted on our families. Before this could sink in and we try and figure out our next step, the economy quickly started to shut down and the damage was done. Businesses have failed right before our sight. Children are sleeping hungry and there's nothing their parents can do about it. As if all this wasn't enough, marriages are struggling and it seems like the enemy is just winning this war on families. Children have joined wrong company and now we really can't imagine what they'll turn out to be. Am here crying to you on behalf of all these people who are also DONE. 

As I finish, I just want to say am done relying on my own efforts. Am done fighting a spiritual war with physical tools. Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Am done trying to please everyone even if it means compromising my values. Am tired of making excuses for other people. I AM DONE.

I have decided to let Go and let GOD. I've decided to surrender everything to you because I know you have good plans for me Jeremiah 33:11. Am going to let go of being worried about tomorrow because you say in Mathew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own.I will trust in you till my last breath for you to direct me on which way i should go and which battle to fight in. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;6 in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.…

Help me in this walk, I now its not going to be easy to step back and let you take control of my life. I've tried this severally and at times I find myself back to the drivers seat trying to take charge but not anymore. Am tired and I just need rest. I want to be still just like you tell us in Psalms 46:10 He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  praising you in the storm as you sort out one thing after another. Because I know that I don't own anything here. Everything I have is all yours. You are the potter and am the clay. Mould me however you want LORD because“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.” Job 1:21. 

I have a pretty good feeling about this, am sure that I'll look back few weeks or months from now and be glad that I WAS DONE because at this point of my life I'd rather have Jesus than anything else in the world.


Much Love,

Daughter

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