Letter 101
Dear my younger self,
I've been hurt pretty well to the point that I
thought I'd never make it out, be healed and be whole again. Trust me baby
girl, nothing compares to the pain of always looking over my shoulder every
time wondering what people thought about me. Being so concerned about the
public approval rather than what I felt or really wanted to do. There are times
that I just wanted to scream or just run around until I felt my head was clear, but that was out of the question, I didn't want to be labelled a "mad woman".
All this because of what; public opinion.
Everyone knows or has heard about the story of the
man, his wife and a donkey
A man
and his wife were traveling with their donkey.
On
the first day, they passed through a town, both riding on his back. They heard
people whispering: “What a mean couple, putting all that weight on the donkey.”
On
the second day, they passed through another town, the man on the donkey, the
wife walking beside. They heard people whispering: “What a cruel man, forcing
his wife to walk while he rides on the donkey.”
On
the third day, they passed through another town, the man walking, and the wife
on the donkey. They heard people whispering: “What a careless man, letting his
wife ride alone on the donkey.”
On
the fourth day, they passed through another town, both walking beside the
donkey. They heard people whispering: “What a stupid couple, why do they walk
if they could ride on the donkey?”
Everything this couple did was inappropriate for a particular audience.
Everyone had an opinion and clearly after the four days, no one was satisfied
with the choices that this couple made, all they got were criticism and no
acceptance however much they tried. It's super easy to say that moving forward
I'll not listen to what people say about me, but in real life this is the hardest
choice you'll ever have to make.
Let me digress a little bit, remember the story of creation, with Adam
and Eve in the Garden of Eden? Do you think they knew they were naked before
the snake came along? I highly doubt it. However, one lie from the snake
changed how Eve and subsequently Adam had lived and believed in. It messed up
the relationship they had with God and had to leave a comfortable life and
start toiling. One lie from someone's opinion will change how you look at
yourself and others.
There are times, not once not twice, but countless times that you will
believe what they say about you. It will not only haunt you but equally hurt
you. You will stop believing in yourself. They'll say you are ugly and not good
enough because you are not light skinned or whatever, but yet, God says that we
are created in his image and likeness Genesis 1:27. They'll say you are a failure that
can never succeed, yet God says in Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ
who strengthens me. They’ll say you will never amount to anything, but look at what God did to
Ruth and Esther. He is still the same God seated on the throne today. He turns
tables within a span of a second.
Let me not forget to mention that, you'll be judged and ridiculed
because of your current situation but remember Job who held on his faith
despite losing everything. Lastly as a Christian you'll always fall short of
the glory of God. Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God, and the people who are meant to be there to correct you will laugh,
mock, judge and rejoice at your downfall. We are instructed in 2 Timothy 4:2”Preach
the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favourable or not. Patiently
correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching." Rather than being judgmental like in Mathew 7:1 “Do not judge, or
you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be
judged, and with the measure you use, it.
Thankfully, there have been many other times that a
friend loved me enough to help me see the mistakes I was making. The rebuke
challenged me to alter my ways. Am particularly grateful because they were
accurate in their assessment, they addressed it with me and not gossip or
as many would say let’s pray for Milly you know she did ........... and they
finish by saying may God help her.
Coming back to my earlier conversation, we all have
the capacity and ability to be whoever we want to be by putting God first and
working hard/smart to achieve our goals. What makes me super confident about
myself right now is that all the insecurities I had gathered when
someone spoke something about me is that God has already demystified it in his
word. You are beautiful, you are strong and you are able.
As I conclude, I know times are tough but guess what so are you.
You are stronger than you'll ever know all you have to do is believe what God
says about you. You might be down but you are not out. The race is still on and
you have more than enough opportunities to be successful. All you have to do is
stop the pity-party, stand up and move, remember whatever the circumstance is,
don't stop moving however bad it gets keep in mind it's always dark before
dawn.
With Love
Older Milly
